There are as many philosophies of counseling as there are counselors. Many of us follow certain theories, but because of our personalities, have different ways of expressing and applying a given theory. Strictly speaking, I am a cognitive behaviorist. What does that mean? It means several things. First, it means that problems are more about our thinking (cognitions) than about events. Second, it means that treatment focuses on the thinking and their subsequent behaviors. In treatment, I often give a list of COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS which can identify irrational thinking that leads to harmful feelings. Although I do not agree with much of what Albert Ellis stands for spiritually, my orientation is very similar to RATIONAL EMOTIVE THERAPY.
We live in a culture that is highly theripized and very self centered. I have wondered if there is a correlation. Perhaps there is. Perhaps what therapy has taught us in the long run is to look out for ourselves. To make personal happiness our highest priority at the expense of all else. While there is a turn from this on many fronts, there still is shock when we are told that we can live without being selfish. I believe that psychology has contributed greatly to societies degeneration on one hand and has assisted profoundly on the other. Sometimes it is hard to know what to accept and what to reject in psychology. I believe that a great part in getting better is debunking the myths that society and psychology have piled upon us. If I truly believe that all I can depend upon is me, that I am my highest priority, then I will live accordingly. I will be selfish in my relationships and end up destroying the most important things in my life. My marriage and my family to name a couple. And when they are destroyed, I will seek counseling and be told that I need to be more independent, more self reliant and have greater self esteem when those are the things that got me in trouble in the first place. In short, we do not find the answer from some mystical place inside us. The answer comes by taking responsibility for our irrational thoughts and our behaviors. It takes courage to change. It is a coward who blames others for his or her own misfortunes.