A Brief Description of Eternity

John Emmons

I am one of the chosen ones. Or, did I choose? It really doesn’t matter now and it is not for the lack of an answer. There was a time when those questions filled my head and I knew that when I saw Him for the first time, that would be my first question. Oh, I had others too. Can a person lose their salvation? Was it really seven days, what about dinosaurs and who wrote Hebrews? I was sure He would answer and would be a bit nicer to me than he was to Job. At least, not so evasive. Well, part of what I was hoping for came to pass. I knew in one instant all the answers that had theologians tied in knots for centuries. When I saw Him for the first time (and here, we can look upon Him and live), it was like all the knowledge in the universe was suddenly squished into my head and as if my head were a ton heavier, I crashed down face first into the ground. If I went back in time to before eternity began, when I was totally human, and if I could offer just a fraction of what is now in my head, I would like to think it would have changed everything, and I am certain I would have been branded as a heretic, thrown out of just about every church and perhaps nailed to a tree. If it happened to the Lamb (and he did all that without the burden of a sinful nature), how much more would it happen to me. I can’t tell you all I know as there is not enough paper in the world to write down what I know to be true. You now see through a glass dimly, and you cannot imagine how dim that glass really is when you finally do see Him face to face. I won’t keep you in total darkness, though, as my brief description of eternity will share just a few things that really surprised me.

There are clouds here, but I’m not sitting on one. If I did, as you may expect, I would fall through the cloud and down to the ground that waits below and I would be hurt pretty badly. I would not die, though I would be injured and the broken bones would heal up very quickly. Within minutes, perhaps but the momentary pain of the fall would be a reminder to not do something that stupid again. We don’t have wings here so we can’t fly and certainly cannot sit on clouds while playing harps. The angels that sing to the Lamb do not have wings either. They never did, and frankly, I’m glad they don’t. They are intimidating looking enough without sticking some giant wings on their backs. I know the Bible speaks of wings on them, but that was a word picture the writer gave to show a swiftness to obey God. It’s a beautiful picture to have a being with an extra body part attached whose only purpose was to speed up reaction time in responding to God and to carry out the command of God swiftly. But, angels do not have wings and neither do we. I can’t fly, and though it would be fun, the laws of physics still apply. There is gravity and there is oxygen that we breathe and things still oxidize and rust. The things we build still need to be maintained. Believe it or not, weeds still grow in our fields. Mosquitoes still bite us, though they do not leave an itchy spot because we have no allergies. (I have to confess to swatting them on occasion). There are brussels sprouts here, and there are people here who actually like them. I am not one of them, but we do eat, we secrete and excrete, and though the lions are seen lying with the lambs, I have also seen them dining on the lambs as well. The animals do reproduce in the same way as they have always done. They, unlike us, are not immortal. They are born, grow up, grow old, get weak, and die. The only creatures here that have wings here are the birds, just as God created it in the beginning.

My wife and I have a place that we call home not far from the City. I talk to people just as I did on earth, before this, as that is what God has gifted me, and I love doing it, and my wife teaches people and learns from people just as she did before we entered into His presence. Perhaps, as you hear of my wife, you will bring to mind the text that states that in Heaven there will be no marriage, nor giving in marriage. This is true, and I was surprised as well by this. To understand marriage, you have to understand the human nature that we were once burdened with. Marriage is a promise, and where there is a promise, there is also the possibility of breaking that promise. Here, a Yes truly is a Yes, and as a result, a promise is never made nor are marriage ceremonies performed. I am with the same person I was with before this time and we are together out of our own choice. Most people are couples, and many have chosen to be with a person they shared time with before eternity began. Many people who were married to several different people have chosen one of those to be their spouse. There were no hurt feelings, though it is hard to imagine, self -centeredness does not even enter into our minds. Some people have chosen totally different spouses, and some have no spouse at all. And yes, there is still sex. It has always been a gift from God, though it will not produce children. And, I might add, you cannot imagine how special it is when there is no lust or shame attached to it. The most shameful memory many of us share is the pollution we gave to this gift while we walked to old Earth, ruining it completely for ourselves. It is impossible to describe how perfect sex is without the burden of sin attached. It is like trying to enjoy a swim in a beautiful placid lake with heavy weights around your ankles. I will say no more on that as it is still a private matter. You will simply have to experience sex without sin for yourself when you get here. I will tell you this much: It takes days…

I am not sure how I got here and I do not remember my last day before eternity began, and in fact, I am not sure how long I have been here. Maybe seven years, maybe a thousand. Time is not something I am aware of. It does not occupy my mind and I do not fret over being late. My mind is not concerned with things that it does not have nor does it worry about things yet to be accomplished. Of course, I wasn’t always that way. I remember when I walked the earth before eternity, my mind marinated in interesting ways to replace God. I dreamed of amazing ways to not have to have faith. I could be young, stunning, six pack abs, and rich. Winning the lottery would be nice, and having a life where I did not have to worry. How much easier would that make faith if I didn’t have to fret, and then I would come back around from my dream and realize that the purpose of God was not to make me happy. He didn’t care about my abs, he cared about my heart. He wanted me to grow up. To be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. I got to the point in my life where all I had as a faithful person to offer God was a limp noodle. Where He made my garment white as snow, when I saw him I didn’t even have the decency to have it cleaned, and all I had to offer back was a dirty rag. What I see now is that shame I felt before was disguised arrogance. As a fallen person, of course we are going to bring God dirty rags since salvation is from Him beginning to end. We can offer nothing on our own that will make the distance between us shorter. The bridge is His entirely. Being ashamed before God is like a person continually feeling humiliation and asking forgiveness of his parents for having dirty diapers as a baby. It is silly, but that was my life. Many of my days before eternity were spent in shame of myself because of the reality that I could offer God nothing. I was empty and lost without God and thankful to God that he loved me still. When I saw Him for the first time, that somewhat arrogant self reproach vanished very quickly. I am not sure where the place was that I saw Him for the first time. I don’t think it was here, but I cannot be certain.

I was with a lot of people. All the people, all at once in a place that could not be like any place. It was timeless, I think, though it seemed to last for just a moment from beginning to end. I cannot tell you how long it was, but I will say that it was the most terrifying event in human history. There were all of us, everyone who ever lived all in the same place of unimaginable size. In the middle, He appeared. There was no fanfare, no announcement or introduction, no applause or cheering. As one, we fell. I fell because the reality of Truth was so overwhelming, the pain of seeing the one I had sinned against so excruciating, the brilliance of such perfect holiness so shocking, I had to look away. It was a reflex, not a choice. I remember uttering the words “Jesus Christ IS Lord” with an awakening as from a coma and with a determination of a drowning person, rescued and gasping for air. I had always known he was Lord, but with an unspeakable reality I uttered this for the first time with an awakening that this one truth would change me forever. I remember as we were on the ground, I had to peak, though I do not remember being fearful of what was to happen. I did feel like I was in one of those dreams where you are in a public place and you realize you are naked, except the place I was in was the oval office and I was meeting the president. It was an odd sense of shame and acceptance. Shame that I was naked, but acceptance because there I was anyway and the president did not seem to notice. (It would be odd, I suppose, to be able to clear security naked). But I had to peek, and I do remember someone behind me, and I think he only felt fear as he had never known. He tried to hide behind me hoping to not be seen, and when he peeked over me, his eyes looked as if they had just witnessed the murder of his family. What could be so terrible, I thought. There is nothing terrifying about the reality sinking in as never before of who Jesus is, but the look on this mans eyes was not worship. It was pure horror. I have wondered if God himself were looking at that person, and I suspect that from the look in his eyes, for a moment, he had the full attention of God himself, and a moment later, he was pulled from his place behind me and thrown inside a black spot high above us. I did not know who he was and I suspect that no one knew who he was. Had he been one of a few pulled from us, it would not have been so incredible, so terrifying, so humbling. But what happened was shocking. Well over half of the people there were taken and thrown into the inky blackness. In truth, though I did not count, I don’t think there were a third of the people left. And, here is another startling fact: I do not know one of the people taken and I have spoken to many others here with me and nobody knows anyone who was thrown away that day. It’s like, if there were people we knew who were taken to hell, our memories have been erased and all knowledge of them is gone. Nothing they did carries any weight and their labors and deeds are forgotten. All we know here is there is some place where many people went and are forever forgotten. On them, I have nothing more to say, except I am stunned that I was not one of them.

There is much to tell you about what it is like here, and I suppose some, or perhaps much will be a surprise. I bet the bit on marriage was, but when you understand what it is like to not have a sinful nature, marriage takes on a whole new meaning. In fact, marriage really isn’t the right word. There really is no single word that brings the concept home. Marriage without a sinful human nature is not really marriage but rather a choice to spend eternity with a person you agape. To understand what it is like to not have a sinful nature is like trying to explain a symphony to a person born deaf. They may understand in part but even with a lifetime of learning everything they can about music composition, performance and theory, if finally they could hear, they would experience music on a level totally unknown and unimaginable to them. The melody of the symphony may not be a total surprise, but the depth and beauty would be. So it is here. By the way, we have many composers here who wrote music before this time. The music written at that time is still played and they are still composing. There were writers of books and their books are still found in our libraries, and these authors are still writing. For that matter, we have engineers who design buildings and bridges, and their designs are awesome things of beauty, and we have craftsmen and artists who place their work within these structures whose beauty takes your breath away. I must say, I personally never get tired of seeing French Impressionism done by a master, and some of the ceilings here make the chapels of old look like a vandals graffiti, and on a canvas miles wide will bring tears to all who look upon them. But, I digress. Can you imagine what it is like to not have a sinful nature? I suppose the best way to describe it is to contrast it to what I imagined it to be like before eternity began. I thought it would be nice to not be tempted by evil, but there is no evil here to tempt nor is there a potential of it as was the case in the garden. The surprise for me was I thought deep down that a life without evil would be a pretty dull life. I always wondered on the old earth if I had the guts to live without sin. If I had the ability to cast away my sinful nature, would I do it? My mind said yes, but deep inside, I was terrified of what I would miss. Then, we could only imagine. Now, we see face to face. I suppose there could be a temptation. I suppose I could get mad at someone if I really wanted to, and I still have a hand that I could scrunch up and make a fist, but why use it? After seeing the Lamb once, and it only took one time, all I have now in my head is the truth that it is not about me. The fact that I am Not God changes everything. I agreed with this truth and as much as I could, I tried to live it, but I could not fully. That was not a matter of choice. Sin was bound in me and all the repenting and inwardly breaking would not erase the stain. There was a veil over my eyes that was a bit like translucent silk. I could make out light and shapes, but when that was removed it was like a log taken from my eyes where I had thought there was only a sliver. The reality that I always knew, the truth I always told others would have shocked me had I known how little of it I actually believed. And, this is why I am stunned that I am here.

Truth be told, I have spoken to no one here who is not amazed everyday they are here as well. Do not get me wrong. This is not false humility as that is manipulative and arrogant. When you see the Lamb, arrogance falls from you like dead leaves from a tree. We are amazed that we are here not because we were barely saved either. Because of the blood of Jesus, we all made it by light years. No one squeaked in. Without the blood, none of us would have made it, and even the best of us would have missed by light years. There is one thing we all have in common: We all had faith. That’s not what saved us. Grace saved us all, but we all had faith. There were many, however, (tens of millions, in fact who are here) who were children, tiny babies or not yet born who never had a chance to not have faith. They are the wonder’s to behold, as they were the only ones who held no shame when He appeared before us all. They looked away out of reflex, but were the first to stand and approach the Lamb boldly. They were all saved and He had no harsh words for them at all. Most of us, I suspect, felt a tiny bit of envy, and that was the last vestige of sin I ever felt. There are millions more who lived long lives but who never had the ability to reject faith. Perhaps they were handicapped or injured in such a way that they were unable to comprehend the meaning of rejection. After the children, they were the next, and they are not disabled anymore. Many of them, in fact are our poets and scholars. Those two groups seemed to hold a special place in the heart of God. The rest of judgment went more quickly than you may imagine. There was no sense of time, but none of us were waiting in line. Condemnation had already happened, as I said, when about two thirds were taken from us in an instant. We approached, and I saw something that amazed me. There were not just Christians there. While there were many who were believers in Jesus, there were many who had never heard the name of Jesus but who lived by the law written in their hearts. Actually, I was happy to see every nationality, every race, and every religion represented. I saw at once the depth of the one truth: It is Jesus who saves, not our belief. There were those who had it profoundly correct and who lived lives of brokenness and love. They were judged for their sins, forgiven and entered into eternity. There were those who were believers in Jesus, and who struggled with sin all their lives. They were hot and cold, passionate, then apathetic, then back to passionate. Frankly, this is the group I fell into, and I suspect the largest group. We were judged, forgiven and allowed to enter. There were groups who never heard the name of Jesus and still others who did know of the name but who twisted theology enough to create new religions. They were judged, forgiven and allowed to enter. The last group were the teachers and preachers. I do not know what was done, but their judgment seemed to linger, and I could see shame on many of their faces that the rest of us did not seem to share. Soon, they too were forgiven and allowed to enter. I can say nothing about those who were condemned as we know nothing of them, and I am not going to name names of those who are here. I will say this, however: Christians who thought they had an exclusive inroad to heaven were wrong. The Jews were shocked when Jesus threw open salvation to the Gentiles, so why are the Gentiles shocked that it should be opened up further? Not wider. Further. The standards were never lowered to allow more people in. The gate has always been narrow and the gate keeper has always been Jesus. The surprise was not how wide the gate was but how far reaching it was. God has always been a God of grace, to the Jew, to the Gentile and to the rest of the world. It seems like it was human nature to want the doors slammed shut after we entered, but God has always responded to faith. It takes a life of bowing inwardly where the selfish hardness of the heart breaks, and one admits that they need God. That is faith, and it is ongoing, and though the intensity may wax and wane, and though there will be sin, doubt and darkness, the life of a faithful person is one who knows deeply that they need God. For many faithful people, God is not named or He is misnamed, but Jesus does the saving even to someone who does not recognize the name. I have spoken to many people here who will admit to missing a lot of illumination who never knew Jesus. There are many who wish they would have been told, and many more who wish they would have listened, however, I have never met anyone here who completely rejected Jesus. Some rejected a misunderstanding of Jesus, and who can blame them. There are some Christians here whose actions were so shameful and hurtful to others that, though forgiven, I think their embarrassment will last for eons to come.

I remember thinking how boring this eternity in heaven must be. An amusement park is fun for a few days, and after you have explored every inch of it, rode every ride several times, and ate a lot of food it would be boring. I thought heaven would be the same, though it would take a few more days to get board than an amusement park. I didn’t allow myself to think this because it felt a bit like being in church and the person in front singing or giving announcements is noticeably attractive. You’re there trying to be single minded in your worship, and all you can think of is how hot that person is. Then you feel guilty for thinking such a thought, and thinking that heaven must be boring often brings a similar guilty thought. ‘Would you rather go the hell?’ , your irritating conscience inquires, and you say ‘No’ , while you try to suppress the notion that the best days you will ever live are right now. Heaven is boring but you don’t get fat, hell is hot and it is lonely. I’ll choose heaven, I guess, but I really hope I don’t have to give up coffee.

Eternity is not boring and we have good coffee. There are many things tied to our sinful nature that you cannot imagine doing without. Impatience is one of them. When I walked the old earth it seemed that my time was so valuable that when someone wasted it, they must be yelled at. I remember my actions then, though I only have a dim memory of the things for which I was forgiven. The glass from the other side is dim as well, I suppose. I remember what it felt like to be impatient. I remember worry and anxiety, and I remember depression and obsessive thoughts. I remember them as an adult remembers the actions of childhood. We know we thought and did some silly things as kids, but those thoughts and actions are as foreign to the adult as all the emotions that twisted me in knots before eternity began. I can try to impatiently tap my foot, but I cannot conjure irritation at anyone here, nor they at me. It would be as inauthentic as a mechanical lion is to a real lion. It may look like a lion, but it isn’t fooling anyone.

There was another assumption I had coming into this. I assumed that the implication of the text that says there is no male or female, Jew or Greek, meant just that here. Actually, I was a bit nervous to figure out how we could tell each other apart. I thought perhaps we were one androgynous bunch like in some science fiction movie. There are all the differences in gender and race that we have always known, but there is a twist. It was part of our sinful nature to take these differences and define ourselves with them. It is most amazing how all of us (and there were no exceptions to this) defined others by a long list of things. Race and age were good starting points. Body type was high on the list as was level of success. Then, add in where you came from, what you were wearing and what you believed were up there as well. Now, throw in all the many things also looked for and don’t forget to bring your expectations of yourself to the table, and it is a wonder that people significantly connected at all. God looks at none of that, and here, neither do we. Although there is male and female, races and religions, it is stunning that those things were ever a factor in our relationships. Here, they still exist, but they do not define us, and so on a more significant level, there is no male or female, Jew or Greek. Political correctness tried to do what only God can do. I am ashamed by the people I turned away because their teeth looked funny or they spoke with an accent. Here, turning anyone away for any reason is as foreign a concept as rejecting a cool cup of water on a hot day.

Is heaven boring? The answer is still no, as boredom comes from impatience, which comes from sin. I can say this again: You cannot imagine what it is like to live without sin dwelling inside us. Sin is not doing bad things. That’s sinning. Sin is that stuff packaged in us at birth and nothing on your side of eternity will cleanse. It is entirely possible to have fun without a sinful nature. Frankly, heaven is fun. There are differences in the people here as we can tell them apart. There are differences in ages, though there are not day cares or rest homes here. I suppose if I had to guess, the ages range from roughly college age to early retirement. Vibrant and athletic to wizened and mature. Remember, a desire to be young and beautiful is part of the sinful part of us we can exist without. There is no one here who cannot conquer the highest mountain as all our bodies have the same amount of energy, though not everyone here enjoys such things. How our bodies look is tied to a choice of how we want to be, but does not restrict what we can do. For me, I prefer just a few grey hairs, though I also enjoy activity. I will not get fat or sick without activity as health problems and all the related issues of how sin used to have a foothold in our biology are gone. My wife and I, as I said, live in a place not far from the City. A better use of the concept of wife is a person with whom I have chosen to spend eternity, but wife is easier to say. We had kids while on the earth. I have memory only of two and they can remember no other siblings. They have spouses and they have kids from the old earth, just as I have a parent. She lives not far from here, though I have no memory of a dad. I do not know if it is because he did not make it here or because we had nothing to do with each other before this time. Family members do not automatically get placed together. If we have a memory of someone, they are here and can be found. I do not know why I have no memory of my dad. Many people were orphaned and abandoned by parents. Rejoining broken families happens but is never forced. As I said, I have a mom and kids who are not far away, and by not far, I mean it takes me about a month to ride my bike to any of their houses. I have other relatives here as well. Sometimes, I walk and then it is the better part of a year, but time does not seem relevant. In my journeys, I will often stop for a week or so at a strangers house, and often longer. Sometimes my wife joins me, and sometimes she goes to her family. Her dad is a farmer and they are one of the few people here who have any need to use anything mechanical, though lots of farmers use teams of horses as well. He still has thick hands, and though his crops always produce, he still has to pull weeds from the fields. My wife walks the better part of a year to see them, and when she returns, the stories she has of the people she meets along the way are the very things that make me wish for more than forever to spend with her. Many times we will make the trip together, or they will come to us. The corn does not always need to be planted. On our trips, sometimes we will go into the City, and that’s where the most amazing part of this world is.

The City is unlike anything you can imagine. But try. It has a boundary that is defined by a wall of unimaginable beauty. It is set on a plateau that covers an area about twice the size of Alaska. The wall circles the entire city and is broken only by occasional gates about 300 miles apart that are never closed. You can enter any of these gates and go into a City that seems to have no end and no limits. There are shops and stores (and coffee houses) that are manned by both people and angelic beings (with no wings) and they never close. There are no alleys or cars, though there are lots of people on the streets on foot and on bikes. There is a transportation system that can take you almost anywhere in very little time. There is music and theater, great food and people to meet. I met someone on the street once, and we stood there talking for almost two months before we embraced. That person and I have become close friends and have visited each other often since. Not everyone you meet is like that, though you will meet no one you dislike. Most people are simply enjoyable, and with nowhere to be, it often takes a whole day to just walk a block.

A day, you may say, if you are thinking about the text that says there is no moon or sun, was a surprise for me as well. There is a sun and a moon here, but the City does not need it, though we are aware of the presence of it passing overhead and thus we are aware of a passing day. There is a greater light in this City than the sun. He is in the exact center of town, and this is the best part by far. There was an author who, in my thinking, was almost prophetic. He wrote an allegory of heaven and showed God as a lion. The most moving part of the story for me was the love and affection that he allowed people to show him and that He showed to his people. Here, that is possible though can be difficult to describe in words. In the center of the City there is a temple of sorts, but this temple is merely a platform. Structurally, it is the most plain of all the structures in the City. Frankly, it looks a bit like a parking lot. It is elevated a bit and placed in a square in the middle of the City as far and wide as the eye can see. There, in the middle, is God. On either side of God are angels, surrounding high above and singing. The song they are singing is the truest thing that has ever been sung. There will never be a truer statement, and they are singing it with the intensity of a child opening at a large gift on Christmas morning and the longing of a starving man looking at a banquet. Their many eyes are fixed on Him and sometimes their voices are soft and worshipful and other times their voices are loud enough that they are deafening at all twelve gates of the city. Their song is simple, and with only a few words, give the essence of the God we can look upon: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. They never stop singing this because this is the starting point for all that God is. Holiness is the one thing that exclusively belongs to God, and because it is the truest thing about God, the angels state it for all time.

I think this concept of the holiness of God was the one thing that eluded me the most before here and would have been the one reality that would have set in motion many the other points that I thought I knew about God. The Bible speaks of us living holy lives, but that means to live lives that are “set apart”. But God is holy unlike anything else. It means He is set apart from all creation. He cannot be a part of creation nor can creation be a part of him. There is a boundary that separates all created things from God and He from all created things. We can look upon God and we can enter into His presence, but we can never become Him. All created things (and that means everything except Him) are subject to decay and death. Here, we will never die and that is only because we are constantly renewed, not because we become gods. The angels with their many eyes look at Him not with envy as Lucifer did, but with worship. They always have and are filled with eyes to do it, which I have found amazing. When I look at Him, I too wish I had more eyes as it seems that when I walk into His presence, my two eyes are not enough. I wish I had more eyes, more pathways to my brain to take it all in. He is the only being incapable of evil and decay. Everything else is capable of that. All creation has always been slowly dying as God can do most things, but he cannot duplicate himself and therefore cannot create anything immortal , but there is not one atom in creation that is not sustained at every moment by Him. And, it is for this reason that the angels, since they were created, looked on Him not with longing but rather with amazement. When I walk into his presence, I too look at him the same way.

Seeing Him is indescribable. Not totally, but mostly. If you were to describe heat to an ice cube or water to a fish, it may be similar. The ice can only imagine, and the fish is too close to gain any meaningful perspective. Still, I will try. In any description of God, it is important to first know there is only one God, and God is One. Those are two different statements that describe the same being from a different point of view. Here, in the middle of the square, there is only one throne. God the Father is not sitting on a throne with God the Son sitting next to him while God the Holy Spirit hovers above. There is only one God, so there is only one throne. Yet, when you look on Him you are overwhelmed with the reality that He has three profound and dynamic realities: He creates, He saves and He indwells. He does that simultaneously at all times during creation and there was a brief time part of Him lived as a man on the earth, though that did not divide Him because God is One. That part that lived on the earth we call Jesus and in Jesus we saw the fullness of God, but only here can we see the totality of God. Up until now, no one has been able to look directly at the totality of God and live, though we could look at the fullness of God and live. Here, you know you are looking at one being yet it is hard to know just what you are seeing. That is frequently a first question we ask of each other: “When you look on the King, what do you see?” We are often speechless. The writers of the Bible who were privileged to see just a shaded glimpse of this could not even do the angels justice. The physical image is not the issue, and I remember that was the one most imagined by artists. Seeing God touches all senses, both physical and spiritual. Many of us describe a sound like wind while others have heard music. Some have seen brilliant light and others have felt warmth like glowing fire while others have smelled sweetness. For me, the most profound sense was that of touch. When I approached, it was like a child cuddled on his dads lap, embraced by arms that were safe while small hands gripped onto the sides of a strong face. There was a sense of feeling as close to Him as I could and burying my face as deeply as I could into His chest. My tears of joy, of gratitude, fall on Him and are absorbed like thankful ground receives rain. Reach deep inside yourself, and remember what it feels like as a child to be held by your dad when you have had a bad dream or when you needed to cry because you were teased in school. Imagine that feeling, the emotional and physical sensation. Now, hold onto it and don’t let it go. That, for me, it what it is like in the presence of God, and here is something else that is amazing. There is never a line to see Him. And I am not pushed away. Ever. I approach. The sound of the angels is deafening at first, and somehow, instantly, I am in the lap of Abba Father. When I go, it feels like I am there for a thousand years, just being held. I kiss His face, and He kisses mine, and I can return and stay and He is waiting, as there is no time limit in the presence my Father. There is forever for everyone.

It took me a while to understand this. How can there not be a line to see God? How can it be that we have no need to take a number or make an appointment? God is eternal, and He is the only being that can make that claim. We will live forever, but we are not eternal. There is a difference and though theoretical physics still hurts my brain, I understand something I never did before. Since God is eternal, he exists simultaneously in all points of time. We will live forever, but since we had a beginning, we still live in a linear timeline. Time passes for us moment by moment, and though it is hard to imagine never ending, that time will never come and we will always remember our creation. We had a starting point, but God never started. He exists in all points in time and he exists as much now when I see him as he does when He created the universe. He is, at this moment, creating the stars and the earth, communing with Adam in the Garden, talking to Moses from a bush, dying on the cross, judging the world and sitting with me on His throne. Time, for me, is a line that stretches from horizon to horizon and I cannot see the end. Now, take that same line, fold it up and put it in the palm of your hand. You would be aware of and touching every part of all points in time at the same time. God is not bigger than the timeline but rather all time is held in the hand of God and He is there at all times past, present and future. Only an eternal being can do this. He could be with me, and me alone for the rest of my timeline if that were possible and still be with everyone else individually for all time while at the same time, parting the Red Sea. Since He is not linear, but rather eternal, and since He exists permanently in all points of time simultaneously, while I am in His lap, he is at that moment hearing my prayers and forgiving my sins while I was on the old earth. That’s the mind bending part. While I am at that moment holding onto him as a child holds his bear at night and he is holding me as a mother does her newborn, He is seeing me at my worst. He is grieved at my apathy. He is smelling my repentance, watching my conception, my birth and my death, and is in all those moments as profoundly as he is here with me when I am in His presence. While I am with Him, though it is hard for me to conceive, he is at that moment with me at my worst. This knowledge makes me hold onto him all the tighter and my thankfulness all the deeper. This is something only an eternal being can do and is the reason we do not have to wait in line to see Him. I suppose this is also the reason He hears all prayers of all people at all times. He is eternal, the I AM, and does not exist on a linear timeline as we do. He is, at this moment at the beginning and end of time and all points in between.

When I am with him, I am not aware of the passage of time, though if I were to measure it, I think I often am with him for hundreds, if not a thousand years. During that time, my wife is as well as are my kids. I suppose everybody can and does, and though we can all be with him at the same time, we all enjoy a private audience, and when we leave to be with the gifts He has given us, we long to return just as he longs to have us back. I tell my wife every detail of my time with Him and she tells me of her time. I enjoy the changes that have happened in the new world while I was gone and I re-explore the places I love that have changed. While I was with Him, new trees have grown, new buildings have been made, new songs and symphonies composed, new caverns formed.

When I am not in the presence of the Father, that is where I long to be, though it is not all I do. The same things we were blessed with on the old earth are things we are blessed with here. Many of us have the same talents and gifts we once had and many more of us discovered what we can do. We are not suddenly gifted with the impossible. If something was a gift then, it is a gift now. If God blessed us with something in our old lives, the same blessings are here, though it will be multiplied. For example, try as I may, I still cannot draw and I can practice guitar for all eternity and never get to the point of playing in a filled auditorium. I am a counselor by trade and though I once thought that here I would be out of work, as there is no more pain and sadness, my job has remained mostly unchanged. I show people how to have deeper relationship and intimacy with God. That has always been my gift. The amazing reality of this is that we never reach of the end of God. Theologians are still writing, pastors are still preaching, rabbis are still arguing, and counselors are still counseling. I am frankly the most pleased that musicians are still playing and composers are still composing, as music has always been like a second language to me that speaks to me in the same way that one who speaks in tongues seems to hear the voice of God. Though I am not gifted as a musician, one of the nicest blessings is to be able to appreciate music. The greatest gift has always been love, and it still is, and the ability to express that gift to my wife is the greatest gift that I know. There is still rain, and mountains and valleys still form and it seems that when you have explored one part of the world, the other part has changed and it can be seen from anew. And through all, there is a profound thankfulness and gratitude to be here as if a musician who longed to play with a certain orchestra, finally auditioned and made it. That first day of rehearsal with the symphony and the first concerts would be filled with awe. Not the kind that secretly believes he is not good enough, but the kind of awe that is simply so thankful to have finally realized his lifelong dream. Take that emotion, amplify it and hold it. That is the principal emotion that we all feel in heaven. Constantly, and it is a wonderful feeling too. There is no entitlement, never an “I told you so”, no arrogance, but rather pure thankfulness to be here. Just like the new member of a world class symphony, you pinch yourself to make sure you are not dreaming, and when you perform in the hallowed hall, that is being in the presence of God. It cannot get any better, but there are still brussels sprouts here, and I don’t think there will be a time when I like brussels sprouts. There are, mercifully, other things to eat here, though we can go a very long time without eating. Our bodies are amazing, and when sin does not corrupt you at a cellular level, the efficiency of our bodies is amazing. We can go many days without water and many weeks without food. We can also eat for pleasure, and I still enjoy a good deep dish pizza. You may surprised to know there is wine and beer here, though I do not think it possible to be drunk. Drunkenness was part of the foolishness of a sinful mind that relied on the inefficiency of our old bodies. The wine here makes the best of the old world taste like vinegar and the beer types are as varied as colors in a paint store. On many occasions, I have shared a meal and a glass of wine with God himself. He, too, partakes in his own creation, and I would assume that means brussels sprouts. What does God eat? When I have dined with him, He seems to enjoy what I bring to him. It is not unlike an offering that was done on the old earth; he simply seems to like and appreciate anything I bring. If it’s a bottle of wine, a pizza that I cooked or a glass of water, it is received with the appreciation of one who smells a wonderful perfume for the first time.

The angels do not play harps, and neither do we. I am glad for that as I think it would be silly and harp is not my favorite instrument anyway. If the angels played trombone, that would be enjoyable. There are clouds, but they are not for sitting. That is what lawn chairs are for. You can imagine heaven and you may be somewhat close, but you cannot imagine existence without a sinful nature just as you cannot fathom a life without sinning. How can you possibly live without it? One of the miracles of salvation is that we are not only forgiven for sinning but we are also forgiven for having a sinful nature. The grace of God extends even to things beyond our control. If some legalistic people could realize that the things they tried to take control of were a tiny fraction of the reason we stood condemned before God, they would be stunned. We were all born 100% guilty. Our sinning did not add to our guilt, but rather proved it. Had we lived perfect sin free lives, without grace, we would still stand 100% condemned. Because of grace, our condemnation is 0%. We stand perfect and blameless, and the best part of heaven is boldly approaching the throne knowing the one who sits upon it made it possible. We enjoy Him, and we enjoy His blessings. We are grateful to him at every moment as without God, there is no life. For the first time, here that truth is not questioned. On the old earth, I did question it, but at the end of the day, I remained crucified with Christ.

Go and do likewise.